Uncle Roy's Guidelines - 1. Taxation

I detect a worrying tendency amongst my suspected left-leaning friends to undermine the attempts of the coalition to deal with the debt-ridden catastrophe in which we find ourselves.

I hope the briefing note below may go some way to rectify.

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Scenario: Ten men go out for a daily drink and the bill for all ten
comes to £100...

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If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go
something like this...

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay £1, sixth = £3, seventh = £7. eighth = £12, ninth = £18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay £59.

So, that's what they decided to do..

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The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the
arrangement.
One day, the bar owner said,"Since you are all such good customers,
I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by £20".

Drinks for the ten men would now cost just £80.

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It was suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's
bill by a higher percentage the poorer he was, to follow the principle of
the tax system they had been using, and they proceeded to work out the
amounts each should now pay.

And so the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% saving).
The sixth £2 instead of £3 (33% saving).
The seventh £5 instead of £7 (28% saving).
The eighth £9 instead of £12 (25% saving).
The ninth £14 instead of £18 (22% saving).
The tenth £49 instead of £59 (16% saving).


Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued
to drink for free.

But, once outside the bar, the men began to compare their savings.
As it always does, that corrosive reptile 'envy' began to destabilise the friendships.

"I only got a pound out of the £20 saving," declared the sixth man.
He pointed to the tenth man, “but he got £10!"

"Yes, that's right," exclaimed the fifth, "I only saved a pound too.
It's unfair that he got ten times more benefit than me!"

"That's true!" shouted the seventh. "Why should he get £10 back, when
I got only £2? The wealthy get all the breaks!"

"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison, "we didn't get
anything at all. This new tax system exploits the poor!"

The nine men beat the tenth man up.


The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat
down and had their beers without him. But when it came time to pay the
bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money
between all of them for even half of the bill!

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And that, Guardian readers, union administrators, public sector
parasites and other 'victims and martyrs' is how our tax system works.

The people who already pay the highest taxes will naturally get the most
benefit from a tax reduction.

Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not
show up any more.

In fact, they might start drinking overseas, where the atmosphere is
somewhat friendlier.

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